One of the scariest things today is losing a job, in times of a never-ending pandemic. But what happens when you’re facing it and reality-wise you know in your heart the time has ended?

Well it happened to me recently when I decided to resign from my job, a career in media I’m truly proud of for so many years working for the same company and an industry I never thought I would come back to. But for almost 5 years, here we are at the end of the road, closing a chapter that I never thought would happen this year but so many signs have led to it which I chose to ignore for months or maybe even years.

Do I see myself staying in my work as a journalist in the same company beyond 5 years? I would be deluding myself if I say yes because I know in my gut and in my heart, no. One would ask, why the hell are you leaving a job you utterly love and you’re still stable in where you’ve worked for so many years?

The answer is, I’m not happy anymore. I chose to be happy and I deserve to be happy so I’m choosing to set myself free.

I used to be happy, content even when times were hard and proud of what I do, since writing is my passion so I was one of the lucky ones out there who don’t consider my job as one but something I really enjoy doing. But times have changed with a new boss, a new team, and the season is changing. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the new era but I don’t think I should be part of the changes. We’ve grown apart, it became toxic that I wasn’t happy anymore and that’s okay.

Many are dealing with toxic work culture and these days plenty have left their jobs because most choose to be happy, sane and prioritize their mental health. Safe to say I’m now one of them. I didn’t leave without thinking it over so many times and seeking my loved ones’ opinions because it is super risky especially when we need a stable income and I’m taking care of my senior parents. Life isn’t easy in Manila where the standard of living is sky high but is it worth it to stay in a place where you know you don’t belong anymore? No.

It’s a sad story for many that most would stay because of their responsibilities at home. I’ve been there and done that but also one’s well-being is important, after all we only have one life to live. Especially in times of a pandemic, many realized how it is important to take care of one’s mental, emotional and physical well-being.

This job is a huge blessing at a time when I never thought I could ever go back to being a journalist after leaving it for some time when I had my job contract cancelled while working in Malaysia. My first editor gave me that chance to become a journalist again and she believed in me that I’m worthy and capable. I’m grateful for the opportunity to get back to the field, mentoring me over the years, even if I switched bosses under the same company, and made me feel I truly belong.

It’s hard to leave because the first publication I worked on was our baby. I loved my job and was happy with the people I worked with. It’s difficult to let go of a blessing that saved you from going crazy during the pandemic. When everything in the world was going mad, it was the only stable thing in my life so losing it felt like I also lost a part of me.

But there are moments in one’s life when you need to accept that you need to move on, start anew and that doesn’t mean that it’s a loss, but a loss for good. Nothing is constant in this world and I learned years ago that not everyone will stay or are meant to stay in your life forever. They need to leave when their purpose is served in our lives.

I know it isn’t an easy decision to make but it’s a decision that needs to be done because there will always be something better out there for everyone. Until we leave or end an aspect in our lives, only then we will know what is meant to happen next. I believe in the saying, “What’s meant for you, will come to you” at the right time. So perhaps this is now the time and I’m excited on the next adventure to take. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve gained so much and I’ve met many wonderful people. 

This is Remedios Lucio, signing off as a business journalist for now. No goodbyes, just see you later. 

*For those who feel weak, disheartened and troubled, I assure you it will always get better so keep pushing yourself to make it until it gets brighter. God will never leave you and give you trials that you can’t surpass. Have faith, be hopeful and keep praying!